youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
he puts the penis in happiness.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
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