so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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