the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
