I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
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