For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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