You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
