My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
