so explain again why im purple
no
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
