I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
