you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
