I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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