I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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