oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
