I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
