There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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