Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
