I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
