Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
He told me they were just razor bumps!
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
