Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
