This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
