My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
