Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
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