the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Randomize
