Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
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