I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
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