so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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