and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
