Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Dick very happy bro
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
