I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
