Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Randomize
