i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I just gargled with NyQuil
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize
