hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
