operation harelip BJ is a go
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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