Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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