Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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