There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Randomize
