Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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