how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
