I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
