Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
