You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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