He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
