Yo dont text me then not text me
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
