Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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