she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
