she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
