I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
