david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
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