whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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