I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
