he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
